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Alex of Macedon

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that gum you like [Dec. 9th, 2017|02:21 pm]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Mood |coldcold]
[Current Music |j dilla crushin]

has come back in style, and sticks into this trove of archived, nostalgic tarnish one year later.

time to palm it into a fist and push up. it feels like the fabric is unraveling and the seamstress has gone into retirement and an absent replacement has left customers to their own devices. out of necessity of order and peace, times offering uncertainty either lead into consensus or consolidation of power. entering the era of the strongman, new family structures, and the gig economy, it isn't certain whether the current social constitution (little c) is sufficiently grounded to weather the sea change. it'd be nice to take comfort in the SJW approach of love another and hands-on-hips keep-your-meathooks-off-me as a remedial social shift, but you-did-good isn't enough.

the line between authoritarian and autocratic is about as hard as the one between the constructive trust and proprietary estoppel, where one leads so smoothly into the other, and both end up at the same place, where even the most select judges couldn't tell you how, only when.

an economic system reflected by a new taxation scheme are both clobbering people just trying to continue the livelihood they were raised to believe would provide for them. the new scheme, elite elation aside, should be a wake-up call that the US economy is not consistent as it should be, and an accelerated consolidation of finances has been set in law.

news outlet retractions occurring on a semi-weekly basis are not helping either. more discord and less credibility on both ends will lead to a general distrust of both on behalf of civil society. the conflict between them will end badly if the m.o. between the chief executive and the fourth estate is not forced to make a conscious, hard shift.

a hillside patch of desert lime and pepper trees cut by an undulating, crunching driveway leading to a little square house with a fountained courtyard, nestled in between the chaparral. the dream.
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with all this j-u-i-c-e around... [Dec. 6th, 2016|11:27 pm]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Music |jon benet - 18 carat affair]

round and round the sphere, and i still find myself at myself. there's endless will to keep moving across the globe but i miss southern california beyond my bones. i miss going to the supermarket in shorts and flip flops.

i'll roll myself up in blankets, listening to the seagulls outside cawing, shut my eyes tight, and think of malibu. thanks be to cheap airfare (365 GBP whaaat) that'll be a reality in two weeks. i think after this glut of traveling in december i'll need vacation from flying. dear nat came from nyc for thanksgiving, and we headed to hamburg to sup at joanne's. dear stephen made it from the depths of the amazon, and even peter's hans blix specs made it to the table. baby carlotta was bouncier than ever, and the whisky, peatier than ever. (y'hear that kieran? we're only drinking from orkney now.)

bad news along the way though. ylva died from an infection from a bone marrow transfusion which came as a shock to everyone. on the last day, i saw nat off to the airport and took another flight. i wish i had called sooner. this plainclothes saint was everything to my family. she taught my dad english before moving to the States, she was my mom's best friend and touchstone in greece, she laid flowers on my brother's grave on a regular basis, and was the first person from the village to accept my stepdad. it was all so sudden and being still in shock while in greece, it only hit me when i had missed my flight, sequestered in the godforsaken schönefeld airport terminal D, in the wee hours of the night, that she was gone. away forever. i broke down in front of strangers and didn't care. i'm tired of trying to keep strangers strange.

death in life is another type of pain that does not ease up through experience. it hurts every time because it's bigger than you. but still, it means somewhere in this crusty old heart lurks love, possibly-only for the right people. she was light, no fear, sharing. rest in peace, bright swimmer.

it's off to finals. wish me luck. thinking of a trip to the carolina lowcountry after a summer internship...
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viernes por la noche, afilar mis ganas [Jul. 16th, 2015|07:07 pm]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Music |inkhaf]

Summer so far in Greece:


swimming in the libyan sea 3 km through underwater tunnels, finding deserted beaches
twice finding lost relatives thrice-removed in the most random of places
fighting with a nursing goat-ess on a rock atoll
hoarding sea fennel on the rocky coast
handling a dangerously delicate friends' past breakup
mosquito swatting
tsipouro at 6
beers at mikropolis
going to demos as always the good nationalist
falling in love with the sea for the first time
giving the finger to herr schäuble
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warm sugary breeze [Apr. 14th, 2015|01:49 am]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Music |mixtape of funky arabic tunes collected by janis jarkarta]

I left a continent on fire four years ago to end up on a sinking one, and it seems the rest will soon be flooded. I am gonna need a bigger gun.

Is it really recommendable to focus on one thing at a time, have one social group at a time, one livelihood, one life? I feel the more you spread yourself out in this world, the more vulnerable your mind and soul become to outside forces, if not for the proper rational adjustments. Protractively displaced experiences from one another can lead to a loss of self and location; location as adjacency. Does meeting hundreds of differently oriented people, while enriching, produce a beneficial output without exception? Maybe the vignettes of a beer with a Mozambican gardener, the kayak trip with the Spanish hippies, the talk with a roommate about love in winter, or the plane ride to Seattle with the WWII veteran are too disparate. So many viewpoints to juggle, absorb, and take stock of.

This could be the misgiving hamlet dwellers refer to in their will to grow where they are planted. Maybe it is just better to be an insipid, one-track human being with a convergent goal, with a strong trunk, for the sake of a centered self, and far from something self-centered.

In the end, I think the farmer deserves more credit than the writer. "Los logros del pasado y el presente no garantizan el futuro, sino lo hacen mas perceptible."
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inverse reflection [Jan. 1st, 2014|11:23 pm]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Music |polaris]

things done in 2013 for the first time:

+unpaid internship
+saw the sun rise on the street during party hours
+fireworks 15 feet from my face
+third emotional shift
+attended a balkan wedding
+drove against LA county's 3 borders in one day
+sex with a best friend
+ran a greek marathon
+lived in germany
+wrote a press release
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used to say [Dec. 30th, 2013|07:51 pm]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Mood |many many]

i like chopin.
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turning point. [Sep. 30th, 2013|12:01 am]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Mood |through it.]
[Current Music |quasimoto--the unseen (sunday morning muzak)]

autumn just rolled in this week. there's a shift going on, i can feel it. perception, direction, dreams. not toward the completely new, either.


walked down the old neighborhood near the huge cemetary in hamburg with all the trees turning colors earlier this week.

rode my (roommate's) bike today in the sunset and felt so insignificant, as insignificant as that fluttering brown leaf caught in an exhaust thermal, and completely at peace.

convergence of values and actions.
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k. richards [Jun. 21st, 2013|01:00 am]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Music |chrome sparks-- marijuana]

00:56
nat: she says he swaggers, i say he staggers
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it was time. [Feb. 10th, 2013|12:02 am]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Music |DARE's toro y moi remix]

Was reading about the maintained ban on raw almonds in California and remembered how I bought some raw, unripe GREEN almonds at valley produce a couple years ago. After cracking open the fruit, a few of those juicy white seeds were so dank in salad. And just seeing pictures of the fruits, cracked open with the almond hole, its green-grey outside, flashed me back to buying them at that market, cracking them open on my counter with a knife, and life back then. I can even feel their fuzziness on my fingertips, as well as being something a lot more naive and simple. Catching yourself saying "college was over only three years ago" is a powerful indication of getting old. But, even with a quarter of a life lived where a couple years begins to seem like a short period, it's so important to step back and reevaluate changes.

That said, new things done in 2012:
+wrote a 5000+ word A paper in 12 hours, footnotes and references
+drank prosecco through the Italo-Swiss border +++
+had a real roommate
+a summer "fling"
+translated the mayor's speech
+mountain climbed barefoot
+swam under a waterfall
+reconciliation
+sang karaoke (long overdue)
+installed a window (big man)
+hosted people continuously for two months
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asymmetric insight [Nov. 16th, 2012|04:30 am]
Alex of Macedon
[Current Mood |anxiousprocrastinatory.]

Me up at does

out of the floor
quietly Stare

a poisoned mouse

still who alive

is asking What
have i done that

You wouldn't have
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